067 910 53 63
050 600 42 26

How to deal with the hardest thing

Summer is coming soon. Probably you planed summer vacations and some trips. Probably you even booked a hotel. If yes, you are lucky. What can you do now? Just wait... Wait a little...

But wait a moment. There is famous Russian saying that the hardest things in the world are waiting and chasing.

As for me waiting and chasing are the same. Because when you chase somebody or something you wait when you get what you want. What does matter in waiting and chasing? Time. We don't want to waste the time.

One of the most frustrating aspects of waiting can be the sense that you are losing valuable time. Many people think that their most valuable resource in life is time. If they have more time, they can accomplish more, be more successful, and be happier. The truth is, time has nothing to do with it.

Let me explain why.

The Nobel Prizewinner in Literature Albert Camus put a question in his famous novel The Plaque: How contrive not to waste one's time? The writer gave the answer: By being fully aware of it all the while. Here are the ways in which this can be done: by spending your days on an uneasy chair in a dentist's waiting-room; by remaining on your balcony all of a Sunday afternoon when the weather is wonderful; by listening to lectures in a language on which you don't know; by traveling by the longest and least-convenient train routes, and of course standing all the way; by lining up at the box-office of theaters and then not buying a seat; and so forth."

As you see the list is not completed.

Albert Camus was a man with a good sense of humor. If I could, I would recommend him to add to this list one point from my first-hand experience of legal profession: by starting legal suit against your neighbor. Rear legal case is not long. It is always tiresome and exhausting. So, if you think much of your time, welcome to the court!

You can say me that I am not sincere. And of course you remind me an old anecdote about a lawyer who decides to be retired and gives all his cases to his son who is lawyer also. One month later a son comes to the father and says proudly: "Dad, I won the case that you handled during 10 years". A father said sadly: "My silly son, do you even realize what you've done? During 10 years I got money from this client. But you've ruined it in a month."

So you can say me that there is difference in waiting for lawyers and their clients. While the clients of lawyers wait for the next court hearing and for final judgment, the lawyers rob them. But friends, it is not the worst. Lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too. And I am not sure with whom you will be able to wait longer: with lawyer or with doctor.

But all kidding aside. Everyday we all are waiting for something - waiting in line in the supermarket, waiting in traffic jams, waiting for food in café or restaurant, waiting an unoccupied bathroom, waiting a website to load, waiting a better job, waiting for vacations, waiting when our children go to school, graduate the school, then get higher education, then get marriage... and so forth. The list is not completed.

All these things became essential part of our so called normal life.

But friends, If we wait so often and much and long, why do we not become experts in waiting? Why do you fill irritation when you arrange the meeting but your partner is not on time? Why do you fill anger when you arrive at the airport but the flight is canceled and you must wait? Why?

Recently I have read the book The power of now by Eckhart Tolle. The author explains that waiting is not physical state. It is state of your mind. It is based on the desire to be in the future but not in the present moment. You are not satisfied with what you have, you want to own what you have not now.

When we wait for something we unknowingly provoke inner conflict between our state here-and-now which we are not satisfied with and imaginary future that you dream about.

There is nothing bad in striving to get something new and better than what you have. You can try to improve your living situation. There is nothing bad that you plan goals and try to achieve them.

Your living situation consists of obstacles. You can improve your living situation but you can't improve the life because the life is primary. The life is like a foundation for the next living situation. This foundation is perfect initially.

As example Eckard Tolle explains that it is impossible to get rich in future. When you appreciate, realize and take your present moment you become grateful for everything, for your being, for your life. Your gratitude for present moment is the key to real well-being.

Eckard Tolle recommends to get out of your life waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself that you start to fall into waiting you should immediately shake things up. Come back to Now!

So when the next time your friend comes lately and says "I'm very sorry to keep you waiting", say with assurance "It's ok. I did not wait. I just stood hear and enjoyed my life."

I find this idea interesting and I highly recommend you this book.

I started my speech with Russian proverb. Now I see that the hardest thing is only myth. I appreciate another old saying "good things come to those who wait." But I understand this saying in another way now. It is not about patience or hard work. It is about good and right thing. It is about being present. If you are present, there is never any need for you to wait for anything. Just be, and enjoy being.